Barbossa: I NEED A HAT BUT IT ALWAYS MUST BE BIGGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE’S (Especially Jack’s)!
Elizabeth: I don’t NEED a hat, but it’s good to wear one occasionally
Will: Ever since that stupid hat I wore at the end of COTBP, I have not worn another
Davy Jones: I HAD A HAT … BUT IT FELL OFF MY HEAD WHEN I FELL INTO THE SEA!!
Beckett: Of coarse I have a hat, I even wore it when my ship- … ahem, I don’t like to talk about that
Blackbeard: WHY THE HELL DOES MY HAT HAVE STUDS IN IT?!
Angelica: Yes, I am wearing a hat, want to make something of it?!
Henry: I only wear hats when I am temporarily in the British Navy, or disguising myself as a British Officer
Carina: I don’t wear hats! How the blazes am I gonna read the stars with abloody hat on my head?!
Jack: But hats are important, Carina!
Will and Elizabeth: -No they’re not!
Barbossa: -Unless they’re big!
Angelica: -With feathers!
Davy Jones: -CALYPSO!
*They all gawk at him*
Jack: Trust me, Carina, EVERYONE needs a hat, there is no one, absolutely NO ONE that is too perfect to wear a hat
*Salazar walks in, fabulous water-hair floating majestically*
Jack: … God damnit -_-
Lesaro: Sir, some weird-arse looking pirate ship is coming at us
(Salazar shoves Lesaro out of the way)
Salazar: TARGET PRACTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCEEEEE!!!!-
Barbossa: -HOLD UP THERE, YA’LL!! I HEAR YE BE LOOKIN’ FOR JACK?!
(Silent Mary crew jumps down onto QAR, Salazar lands behind Barbossa, who turns around slowly, but ends up turning around facing in the oposite direction)
Salazar: I’m over here, idiota
Barbossa: Apologies …. My name’s Captain Barbossa-
Barbossa: No, Barbossa
Barbossa: … You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t
Salazar: Si, Barbary Coast
Barbossa: Oh, ffs
Barbossa: You’re upside down
Mando: No, you’re upside down
Barbossa: No, you’re upside down
Mando: No! YOU’RE upside down!
Barbossa: I am telling you, you’re upside down!
Magda: (To Lesaro) We might be here for a while
Lesaro: Tell me about it
SALAZAR: No-no-no, men?! No. No-no-no-no … pirates! Pirates … *Spaces out*
BARBOSSA: … Um … is he okay?
SANTOS: Si, he does that quite often, especially when Jack Sparrow is mentioned. He’ll snap out of it, eventually
My hands are clean in this. Figuratively.
BARBOSSA: Not to disagree but the precision of our accord ends at sunrise, this be but first light,
far from a fully rising sun,and I know you to
be a man of honour-
SALAZAR: -Oh, no, you know nothing of me
BARBOSSA: I know what it’s like to be bested by Jack
Sparrow, he’s an enemy to his-
*Salazar turns around and starts walking over to Barbossa*
SALAZAR: You don’t know who-
*Falls over, Lesaro throws his hands in the air like “I give up”*
SALAZAR: – I am
BARBOSSA: *Trying to not focus on the fact Salazar is now lying in a heap on the deck* I have heard stories of a mighty Spanish captain, El
Matador Del Mar, a man who scoured the
seas and killed thousands of men-
SALAZAR: No-no-no-no- men?! No! No-no-no-no …
BARBOSSA: Ok, I’m sorry, I HAVE to ask; how do you
FUNCTION without falling over?!
LESARO: *Mutters under breath* Who would know?!
Henry: Only by name
(Salazar trips over nothing, Lesaro facepalms)
Henry: -Oh! Um … Are you ok?
Salazar: (Now lying on his back on the ground,
acting casual as though tripping over is normal for him)Yes, I’ll just continue
questioning you from down here
Henry: Um … ok
Salazar: You’re looking for him?
( Henry continues gawking a him)
Salazar: Is that a yes?
Salazar: Jack Sparrow … Jack Sparrow has given away the compass!
(Rocks crumble, sunshine appears)
Salazar: Daylight!- (Trips over, Lesaro curses under
Salazar: (Lying on the ground, acting casual) It’s time to hunt a pirate
Lesaro: Capitan, a ship sails toward us
(Salazar causes the Silent Mary to rear up over the
Barbossa: CAPTAIN SALAZAR, I HEAR YE BE
LOOKIN’ FOR JACK SPARROW?!
(Salazar stops, then suddenly his crew start jumping down onto the Queen Anne’s Revenge, and finally, Salazar jumps down, but then as he is walking up to Barbossa, he trips over. Barbossa does not know how to react – Lesaro, however, is not amused)
Barbossa: (Trying to ignore the fact that Salazar is
now lying on the deck of the ship in a twisted position) My name’s Captain
Barbossa, I stand before you with cordial intent
Salazar: (Totally not phased about the fact he is
unable to get back up) Eeh, cordial