Barbossa: I’ve heard stories about you,
capitan, and I would like to know
if those stories are true
Lesaro: Ignore him, sir, he just wants to distract you
so you won’t won’t kill him
Mando: You think I would tell this filthy pirate my story?! Of coarse I wouldn’t! As I already
told that boy “dead men tell no tales”,
and he is not worth telling my story to!
Lesaro: Don’t you mean “our” tale, sir?
Mando: *throws hands in air dramatically*
Barbossa: *Mock disappointment* that’s a shame,
and here I thought you would want
someone to know why you hate Sparrow
so much … *sighs* my mistake
Lesaro: Shut your mouth! The capitan is not going
to be tricked into wasting time telling
*Salazar meanwhile has already started relaying the story about how Jack destroyed him*
Lesaro: *To himself* You know what? I don’t even know what I was expecting -_-
Jack: *Drunk* Where am I?! Who are you?!
Carina: -I’m just so sick of people calling me a witch!
I mean, we have an ACTUAL Witch in the story,
you would think people would notice the
difference, but oooh nooo!
Henry: No! Of coarse I’m not in love with Carina!
I told this to Jack and I’m telling you: my
priority is saving my father, not worrying
about girl- *gets distracted by Carina walking
Barbossa: I be wantin’ me treasure, and no dead man
is gonna take it from me! I would rather be
cursed a thousand times than lose me
treasure! I would rather die than lose
me treasure! I would rather-
Shansa: -Milk cows?
Barbossa: -FOR THE LAST TIME, SHANSA, I AM NOT
RETIRING TO THE COUNTRY-SIDE!
Scarfield: The British Empire will rule the-
Uncle Jack: La-di-da, all the jokes, and now I’m gone!
*Disappears in puff of smoke*
Salazar: When the Monarch chases a pirate ship
into the Devil’s Triangle no one makes an issue,
but when I do it, EVERYONE LOSES
THEIR SHIT AND CALLS ME FOOLISH!!
Lesaro: Sir, remember what your therapist said?
Salazar: I don’t need a hug, Lesaro!
Lesaro: I think you do
Salazar: No I- ugh …