Reluctant sitter (Part 2)

ninjacat1515:

(For @capitanarmandosalazar )

Little Armando shot around the house, far faster than any of them could hope to match. Barbossa growled at the vampire as the child cackled with glee and dodged his swiping hands. 

“Come ‘ere, you horrible, tiny blaggart!”

The pirate captain stumbled into some crates, and went ass over tea kettle; crashing to the floor. Salazar’s laugh intensified; fraying Barbossa’s already taught temper..

“YAAAAAAR IN FOR IT, LADDY!”

Armando giggled and climbed over him, but underestimated the pirate’s speed. A hand gripped his ankle and the vampire child gasped and screeched; flailing like a fish on a hook. Barbossa chuckled, squinting at him as he stood and got an even better hold.

“Score one for the pirate, ZERO for the vampire!”

Carina had a cloth to her face, muffling her laughter. Henry was attempting to mask his amusement, but it was fruitless. Barbossa scowled at the two.

“What are you two gawking at? Think you could do better? I’d like to see ya try. Later though, not now. Half the afternoon chasing this here beastie, I’ll be damned if I’m letting ‘em go so soon.”

Armando growled playfully, pulling Barbossa’s beard and earning a grand eye roll. The child had become filthy from his ramble in the yards, and he was quite hungry to boot. His fearsome yellow eyes gleamed at Barbossa, but he curled his lip at the shear amount of hair present. Tiny shark teeth ground as he then eyed Henry and Carina; twisting and reaching for them.

“There will be no eati’n of me fair daughter, nor of Will’s son!”

He snapped at Barbossa’s wagging finger, whining.

“It’s rats and chickens for supper, take it or leave it!”

Armando wailed, his tantrum bordering on the theatrical. Jack peeked into the room and approached him, bearing a bottle of rum mixed with rodent blood.

“This will knock the not so big leech out!”

“JACK!” Carina’s indignation stung the pirate more than he thought possible.

“Ooh…you’re right….don’t know what came over me. I’m not good at this whole “parenting thing” it’s so much work!”

Barbossa snorted.

“What do you mean ‘so much work’? I’ve been pulling all the weight with this here miniature demon!”

Salazar gave a hissing snicker.

“Alright, alright, I’ll admit I haven’t been very helpful today. But how’s about I make it up to you all, and take him for the next hour or two? Give him some supper and all…”

Carina and Henry shot Jack a glare.

“NOT to worry, no rum or sugar! Just nourishing…blood…Ew….I got one of the chickens.”

Clucking came from the kitchen, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Er, forgot to kill it-”

Armando growled, leaping out of Barbossa’s arm’s and sprinting into the other room. A chicken’s dying scream was cut short, followed by the sounds of a happy vampire. Jack slowly walked into the kitchen, swallowing as he saw Armando with a bloody mouth and feathers all around him. The chicken’s head had been chewed clean off and the bird drained of all life. 

“Good god…welp, seeing as how you took care of dinner, I say a bath is in order!”

Grumbling came from the next room.

“You’re one to talk, we can smell you from out here!”

“This ain’t about me, it’s about dear old Salamander!” 

Jack ignored the mutterings and went to the bathroom, setting up the tub. he had tied the little captain to the dresser, and the vampire was watching him curiously.

“Sorry mate, it’s just I take my eyes off you for five seconds, and you’ve run amok all over the globe.”

When the tub was filled with warm water, he grabbed some towels for on stand by, and took off Armando’s torn and muddy clothes. The child plunged into the water eagerly, and Jack began to try and wash his hair. Claws made warning swipes and the pirate stopped trying to untangle Salazar’s hair. The tiny captain went under water, coming back up and gnawing on the toy boat that bobbed next to him.

“Death to pirates! I will eat everyone on this ship!”

“You’d get an awful tummy ache if you did that! Spare that boat of scallywags why don’t you?”

A loud hiss and much splashing answered Jack. 

“I’ll spare ONE scallywag! One will be left to tell the tale!”

Sparrow sighed.

“Sally, what if they have families? You can’t just end all of them.”

Jack took the boat, but Armando grabbed it, giving a mock growl. A dull flash of light made the pirate blink in shock. The child was no longer there. Instead, a fully grown, adult Salazar was sitting in the tub, half the boat in his claws, the other half in Jack’s hand. A moment of crushing silence followed as the two enemies stared each other down in astonishment.

“…..Sparrow?….”

“….Sally?..”

Salazar roared, and snatched a towel, shielding himself from view.

“DIOS MIO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, GET OUT! GET OUT THIS MINUTE! WHAT IS THIS PLACE? WHY AM I HERE? HOW DID I GET IN THIS TUB??”

Jack backed up against the far wall, fumbling for the door.

“YELLING WON’T SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!”

He slipped out into the hallway, slamming the door shut and latching it. Half a moment later, a razor clawed hand punched through the wood; destroying most of the door and seizing Jack by the collar. Armando’s furious face was inches away.

“SpaaarrooOW!”

ROFLMAO!! Naked Mando in the bath! Poor Jack, they grow up so fast XD